Dating jokes that are clean

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Since no one was around for miles Marie called a hospital and told the doctor "Quick Quick I need your help my boyfriend got bit by a snake on his penis" The doctor told her "Maam your gonna have to suck the venom out yourself" Marie asked "Please doctor there has to be another way to get rid of the venom" The doctor says "Sorry theres nothing we can do" So Marie goes running to her boyfriend When she gets there Jay says with pain "So what did the doctor say?

Do you know how to tell if your girlfriend is geting fat? The world thinnest book has only one word written in it : EVERYTHING. If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive.... Boyfriend: Dear do you know that exams are like girlfriend? Boyfriend: Yes, they are tough to understand, complicated, lots of questions and the result is always doubtful.. That night, she wrote in her diary, "There comes a time when even the best of friends must part." Snake Venom One day a happy couple Jay and Marie were walking down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay's leg and bit his dick.

At a wedding ceremony at which Father Brian Hamilton was officiating, he was seen to raise his hand in order to give the final blessing at the end of the service.

Louise, the bride, totally misunderstood this gesture and surprised the vicar with a high-five.

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife at the dinner table.

Wife: Can I have ’000 to get some breast implants to make them bigger.

I’m about to get picked up for a blind date, can you call me in a half hour just in case it’s going bad? Sure enough after twenty minutes Raquel was discreetly checking her watch.

Mike simply won't ever ask for directions.' Woman Driver Magistrate: But if you saw the lady driving towards you, why didn't you give her half the road? Andrea was stunned for a moment but then smiled, 'It really works!

Motorist: I was going to, Your Honour, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted. ' Excerpt from a letter by Ms Peggy Legg This is an explanation to those friends and family who have experienced mysterious switches of their body parts.

Why Women are Beautiful Adam, is working in the Garden of Eden, when the skies open up, and God appears spotlighted by a shaft of brilliant blue light. ' 'I would love to do that,' replied Diana's husband, 'but the problem is.........won't let me.' The Bathroom A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from a hotel chain.

God asks Adam how things were in the garden:'Fine thanks' replies Adam. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.

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